Define Narcissism:
4 key traits to the narcissistic personality.
Define Narcissist, Narcissist Definition:
the narcissist has grandiosity, lack of empathy,
need for praise, and rage - rage especially
when the grandiose self image is disputed.

I've kept hearing people throw around the terms, narcissist, narcissism, and I had a vague sense of what they meant. But ask me to define narcissism, define narcissist, and I really didn't know.

I just knew that it was bad to be a narcissist, most people were narcissists, and narcissists were somehow too full of themselves. "She's a real narcissist."

I also, long ago, read a great book by Reuben Fine in which he presents god as the ultimate narcissist - because (if I remember right) god made people in his image and because he wanted praise.

So what is a narcissist? Just how to define narcissism? I went on the web.

Narcissism:

psychological personality disorder characterized by grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Narcissism, formerly known as megalomania, occurs in a spectrum of severity, but the pathologically narcissistic are extremely self-absorbed, insensitive to others’ needs and indifferent to the effect of their own egocentric behavior. There is a growing body of research indicating that aggression is closely associated with narcissism.
         You can read more here about narcissism here.

As for the narcissist, I found a whole list of ways to identify the narcissistic personality. Define narcissist. Narcissist definition. The narcissistic personality. The narcissist. There are pages upon pages of choices:

# Her situation is always worse than yours. Even if you're very ill, her trauma of being the loving mother of an ill daughter is worse than yours of being the ill person.

# She cannot accept ANY criticism, no matter how mild. She'll erupt in Narcissistic Rage if you try it. This makes dealing with a Narcissist a hugely difficult endeavor.

# She won't change.
       You can read more about narcissistic personality traits here.

Whatever source your turn too, a similar image emerges of the narcissistic personality:

The malignant narcissist emerges as just a notch about the psychopath. According to wikipedia, psychopaths are grandiose, distort reality, contemptuous of others, without conscience." But malignant narcissists "have the capacity to admire powerful people, and can depend on sadistic and powerful but reliable parental images."

Malignant narcissists, in contrast to psychopaths, are also said to be capable of developing "some identification with other powerful idealized figures as part of a cohesive 'gang' ... which permits at least some loyalty and good object relations to be internalized." Malignant narcissism is highlighted as a key area when it comes to the study of mass, sexual, and serial murder.
       You can read more at wikipedia.

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Not a pretty picture. But important to understand if you are trying to create either social change or personal change (your own personal change as well as that of others).

Social change: each time people ask for a very reasonable social change in favor of those lacking rights, there is rage. When women agitated for the right to vote, they were not greeted with, "Well, of course. Sorry we overlooked that." Rage, outrage, horror, disdain. The anti-slavery movement and later the Civil Rights movement were similarly not met with, "Oh, so sorry. We just didn't realize that blacks were equal." Rage, outrage, violence - even a Civil War in the United States to keep slavery.

In general, when one group lacks rights, this means that, by and large, the other group is narcissistic - that is, it has a grandiose self image as superior to the other (or it would have given the rights).

Narcissism also carries over to religion. Reuben Fine was writing about the Jewish and Christian god when he considered god the ultimate narcissist. But consider the Muslim vision of their god: those who will not become Muslims are to go to hell forever. Wow! Quite a hostile response to a deity not getting worship!

This is, by the way, exactly like the Catholic deity, as I heard of him in my childhood: all non-Catholics were to go to hell. Anyway that's what the Catholic kids on the street said the nuns told them about all the non-Catholics. We managed to play together anyhow - but it was weird to hear what the nuns were saying. It must also have seemed a bit weird to the kids being told what awaited the rest of us.

Imagine believing that.

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Narcissism doesn't stop with the dominant groups and with gods who demand adoration or else.

Another finding: when the downtrodden gain pride in their group there is another danger: general rage at all the people they see as part of the enemy - which tends to include any members of their own group they consider not angry enough, not proud enough, etc. If you want a vivid example of rage against the "enemy", watch Hotel Rwanda, on the rage of the Hutus against the Tutsis - historically justified, unleashed against everyday Tutsis generations later. Close to a million people massacred.

The downtrodden - religion can add to the self-righteousness, lack of empathy for others and rage. Right now Muslims appear particularly vulnerable to the rage of the righteous - to lack of empathy for Muslims who do not conform to rigid specifications as well as to all non-Muslims. Click here for The Rage of the Righteous - which in fact was the spark for this quest for a definition of narcissism and the narcissistic personality.

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Any final words? Making the world a better place is hard especially because of all the inner workings of humans - such as vulnerability to narcissism.

signed,

Elsa
September 6, 2009

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2006, 2009 - all rights reserved

posted by Judi, Sept 29, 2009:

I found your site and comments regarding deities and narcissistic behavior very informative. I had always thought that regardless of a Jew or Christian or Muslim, that in the end there was still just one god or goddess that was worshipped. I was aware from a similar experience too that some of us weren't going to heaven if we didn't have the same faith. Always knew it was meaningless, but always felt we were all dealing with the same deity. Theologically you may be correct and "others" deity is different.

How very interesting and I will take the time to find out more. Thanks for such an interesting and insightful view.

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Elsa's reply, Nov 2, 2009:

I agree, Judi, that there aren't a bunch of different deities, some sending non-believers to hell, others reincarnating everyone who doesn't attain nirvana, and so on. That doesn't make sense. Another question: just what kind of deity makes sense?

In The Ultimate Reality, I look at a common belief, that all religions are basically the same - even if, according to some, there is a rigid punitive deity, and according to others, there is a loving deity. You might find it interesting. I'd be interesting in hearing your response.

Click here to go from define narcissism
to Narcissistic Disorders.


Click here to go from define narcissism
to Narcissistic Behavior, click here.


Click here to go from
this exploration of the narcissist
to all the issues explored at
The Idea Emporium.