Progress on Elsa's Creativity Site - song, music, story, ideas.
New! The Idea Emporium is on its way. Critical thinking.
Stupid opinions exposed. Here: exploring setbacks and progress.

JULY 31, 2006

PROGRESS - THE IDEA EMPORIUM IS ON ITS WAY!

Finally, after a month of technical stuff, I'm onto a new section of the emporium!!! The Idea Emporium. A million decisions made, in the last couple of days, on how to display it. It's not expressing the ideas thats been the hard part. The hard part: background color, font size, imagery. It feels, when I start - especially when I have lots of stuff, when I'm not starting fresh, as if I will never be able to figure things out.

And then I did - and I liked it so much that by yesterday evening I wanted to redo the creativity blog - background color, font, width of the page.

And then I go, but does that matter, isn't it the content that matters?

I did some work on the display of the creativity blog - and I have no idea if you will be seeing this on the page, looking the way it does as I'm working on it, or on a revised display. I rather think it will be some revised display.

And now .....

How do I make those decisions so hard for me to make? When I get stuck I go outward - to Philippe. I don't always agree with what is right for him - bur often I do, and also often enough that I have a sense of him as some reliable (though imperfect) outside force. So somehow turning to Philippe gives me some kind of steady outside force against which I can come to my own decision.

I've also used my friend Karen, an artist, someone whose preferences are often similar to mine. Like Philippe, she has a sense of certainty - this or that or the other is right.

Both my parents had a hard time with decisions - and that got passed down.

Somehow instead of learning to listen to myself, I learned to listen to my conflicting selves and ended up bogged down, time after time.

****

Decision making - always the hard thing for me - so easy to get bogged down.

I remember project after project where things would snarl to a halt as I tried to figure out the best way to say things.

That's part of why I've loved teaching - it's talking - no need to figure out exactly the right way to say anything. The time to talk is now. So I do. And I manage to say things in some imperfect way - but pretty well, actually.

That's what I'm aiming for here as well - to say things well enough.

And to get enough listeners so it's not as if I'm talking to a wall.

It was hard getting teaching.

Now that I have it - have had it, steadily, for over ten years - I've cared to stay good at ti

By the way - my thought with this blog was: it'll be me figuring out what to do, how to do things - which is how I wrote a journal yeas ago. I was stuck, had a dream, didn't know what it meant, what to do, how to take something - and I'd journal write for hours.

Not this time. For the most part, I do - and then I report here,

As always, welcome into my world.

signed,

Elsa

JULY 31, 2006

copyright © Elsa Schieder 2006, 2011
publishing house - FlufferDuff Impressions 2006, 2011

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